I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
