Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
