ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
