Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Randomize
