Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
