Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize