How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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