I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
