We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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