In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We don't watch enough power rangers
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
