Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
