And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
