Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
