idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
