Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
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