eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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