Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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