She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
