I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
