Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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