Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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