Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
My penis needs a shock collar
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
