Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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