Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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