That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
