so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize