please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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