I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
