ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
