I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
