My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Why is there bacon in the couch?
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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