You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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