tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
