We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
