you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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