lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
