i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
