Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
