he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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