So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
