So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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