but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
