when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
