Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
