You're a womanizer and a bitch.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
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