The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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