My nipple is on Facebook.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
