at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
