dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm sobbing to NWA
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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