Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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