everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
