My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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