I have demons in me.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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