Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
