Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
