i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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