she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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