I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Randomize
