Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
