i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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