well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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