I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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